ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
