Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Damn victory sex feels great
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize