so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy