so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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