Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
