waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
