And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
