just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
