Is it normal to miss your booty call?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
