I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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