I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize