Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
