Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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