feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
