me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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