im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize