is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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