I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
