Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
