Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize