Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
