omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
ttyl tear gas
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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