She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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