And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do vagina's smell?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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