She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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