God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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