he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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