Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
