i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
