my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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