The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
