I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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