Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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