You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
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My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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