Whatcha textin bout Willis?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
