the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
