Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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