why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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