There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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