I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
