Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize