dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
