I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am mentally ready for anal.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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