First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You are the jesus of drinking
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
