I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
