Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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