So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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