She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize