Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is Oprah even human
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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