my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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