she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize