there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
