I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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