You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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