after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How naked do you want me to be?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
