You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
